cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize