How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
