The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize