the condom got lost in my hair
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think my moral compass just broke
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