Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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