dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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