small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
