I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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