I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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