Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize