I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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