awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
