I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
