You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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