just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
