I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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