I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
