Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
