that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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