i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
All I want is dick and wine.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize