Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize