he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize