Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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