Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize