I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
