After last night, I could never be a politician.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Randomize
