She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The uberlube is also flammable
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
