that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize