I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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