wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
