The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Randomize
