What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
