Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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