So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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