you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
