how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
