my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
