i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
