Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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