farters have to be the big spoon...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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