You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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