Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
