She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
They took my balls.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
