i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
