I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dicks are not precious.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize