you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
