dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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