I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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