:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
