he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
