yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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