Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
