You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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