Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
