The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
