You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
