Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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