When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
