You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
