Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
